Uncle Fegg, oh Uncle Fegg! 
What are you doing there? 

A chicken in your trousers, 
and porridge in your hair 

Why are you throwing rats at me? 
And stop kicking that poor goat 

Why have you lept upon me thus and gripped me by the throat? 

Why do you bang my head so much upon the bathroom floor? 

Why have you got the carving knife? 
And what's that bucket for? 

Oh Uncle Fegg, oh Uncle Fegg! 
It really seems to me 

That it was a big mistake, 
to ask you around for tea.