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Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)


see what would i do without my morning laugh?

Heres some i found to be funny.

Komatsu Floodlight
This Floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark.
(wow now thats handy, a light that even works in the dark)

Unknown Fire Extinguisher
Caution: Non Flamable
(well lets hope so)

Unknown Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow
(wow, i would hate to see the guy that could)

Unknown Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire
(ya think?)

Unknown Diving bord
All divers must land in water!
(duh,do you have a map so thay can fined it.)

LOL thats it for now.

nice 1 guitar kid you made my day. :D

Keep 'em coming if you have any more. ;)
that is so funny....thanks...i needed a laugh..
hmm.. this seems very familiar. didnt some1 have this on here a really long time ago.?:|
the things in parentheses>>() r jus little add ons that were not on the products.